Gifts don't come cheap, and the hidden messages are bribes. Every gift regardless of the occasion labels you and places you in a category of expectations and asks you to sacrifice a dream, a love, a relationship, or a pursuit. Every gift chains you to respond, and some of the responses become the cages you seek to avoid.

Cars stuck in traffic, lights, songs, children and busy shops. Not be your normal cup of tea, and it will not excite you in any other season. Yet,  somehow in December, something happens to your heart and it starts making endless lists of gifts. You are in a blessed mood enough to share with that employee in the corner who never says or does anything, you even find it in your heart to buy a nice Christmas gift for that annoying sister-in-law.

That is the spirit of humanity! To share with people, we do not want to. Yet our purchases have a deeper meaning, and our gifts have hidden messages.

A practical example, your monthly salary might not have any significant value yet the small Christmas bonus keeps you silent and looking forward to the very next Christmas forgetting fair wages. What about the occasion when your partner bought you a very expensive gift to shadow his cheating, narcissism or his lack of proper investment in the relationship? Have you thought about that parent who you no longer see but just gets you very expensive gifts to compensate? These examples, seem obvious. However, there are instances when it is not so obvious such as a rich family member who supports the entire family, trapping family members in a cycle of no one is ever good enough even though the members don't benefit.  Numerous scenarios exist such as you being in a position of power and gifts as a means of bribery. Gifts can also be a message of self-worth and the standards you live by. You get the picture!

 We need to reflect on the hidden messages we receive and the message we give through gifts. 

By reflecting on and understanding the messages of gifts we can very quickly know the social invisible cage people have placed us in and what we are reinforcing into our own life. 

Three questions that reveal the hidden message of a gift 

1.) What label/ status do you hold to get this gift?

2.) What is the substance/ quality of the gift?

3.) What is the usefulness of this gift what does it help you achieve?

Three questions to reveal the invisible cage you are being thrown into through the gift 

1.) what is this gift holding you responsible for?

2.) what is something you need to repeat to get this gift again?

3.) what is it that you are giving up because of this gift?

A reflection of the deeper meaning of every gift you receive and give will help you break your social cage.

Happy holidays and enjoy the gifts